Kids Say the Darndest things

So, I was telling my family about my upcoming cat dissection, and my children were both fascinated and grossed out. I had to explain the necessity for practicing medical procedures on test subjects, which sometimes include animals. I reminded them of a movie we had seen about the life of Dr. Vivien Thomas - how he discovered a cure for cyanotic "blue" babies, by experimenting on dogs. They understood, but still found it incredible that I will be "operating" on a cat.

My daughter especially thought it was gross and "I can't believe you are going to do that, MOM." I told her that what I was doing was nothing compared to what doctors do. Doctors have to perform such things on dead people who donate their bodies to science. I went on to tell her that her First Grade Teacher's daughter-in-law is in medical school and she had to dissect a human last semester. My children were fascinate and wanted to hear how it works: how do you donate your body to science, are your eyes open, do the medical students get to see you naked, where is your body kept? I patiently answered all of their questions and finally got to the last one, "where are the bodies are kept?"

"Well, they are kept in a freezer."
"In a FREEZER," exclaims my daughter
"Yes, honey, so they don't get spoiled,"

"Well, I am a human. I've NEVER been in a freezer and I HAVE NEVER gone spoiled!"

Hahahahaha. Yup, that's my daughter!

The Green Thing

I just remembered that when I was growing up we had this tri-fold, green, foam chair that we used for multi-purposes. We used it as an extra chair while watching TV, for friends when they slept over, for doing gymnastics tricks (Jasmine, remember this!), as a fort, a slip and slide, etc. We never knew what to call it b/c it wasn't a futon, was more than a chair, and too small to be a sofa, so we started calling it "the green thing."

"Evelyn is sleeping over she needs the green thing,"
"Mom, can I do somersaults on the green thing?"
"Ayi, the sofa is crowded, go get the green thing."

It was so normal and natural to call it "the green thing," that our friends and extended family also started to call it "the green thing." It's hilarious b/c my neighbor/ playmate also got one. Hers was black, but we still called it "the green thing." LOL! Her big brother would get annoyed. He couldn't understand why we called it "the green thing" when it was obviously black - he had no clue.

We got so many uses out of "the green thing" and 'till today when my siblings, parents, and I speak of "the green thing" there is no need to elaborate.

Pet Peeve - Name Dropping

Okay, I love all of my friends dearly - I really do. Even the heathens (LMBO). However, just because I love them doesn't mean they don't do things to annoy me ;)

I get sooooo annoyed that some of my dear friends think that I care that they are wearing Manolo shoes, a Jimmy Choo handbag, or were just hanging out at the rooftop of Plunge. Seriously people, I am happy for you if you are happy, but sorry to be harsh, I don't care. I love all things beautiful and if your Jimmy purse is beautiful, I will compliment you, but I would compliment the same purse if it came from Target. A name tag doesn't impress me. I've evolved as a person and there are more important things to care about then what you are wearing and who you hung out with last weekend, which is another peeve, my friends who celebrity name drop. Listen, J.Lo poops too!

Things that do impress me:

1. Being a good person
   
2. Being Pro-Life
3. Spending quality time with your children / family
   
4. Donating your time to the Church and other worthy causes
5. Donating blood
6. Donating your money to sponsor groups like Women for Women International
7. Making it to church on time (we have gotten so good with this!)
   
8. Telling me about a great book you just read
9. Spewing some scientific names (lol)
10. Knowing useless trivia, like Lymes Disease got it's names b/c it derived in Lyme, Connecticut (thank you for that one Dan :)
    
11. Burping the entire alphabet
12. Nursing a baby while you use the toilet, eat, cook, etc.
13. Anything to do with motherhood
14. Doing something daring like Sky Diving (yeah!)
15. Sharing a great food recipe
16. Being a history buff (since my memory sucks, anyone who can retain this stuff impresses the heck out of me!)
    
17. Doing things with your feet (my mom takes her socks off and puts them one inside the other with her feet)
18. Spewing out useless movie quotes "So what would you little maniacs liked to do first?" (what movie is that from?
19. Remembering who Corey Haim and Kirk Cameron are (lol).
20. Doing a mean "chicken dance" at a wedding - with no shame or embarrassment, just shake that bootie.
    

Okay, so now I am getting pure silly, but you get the point. Impress me with goodness, humor, and your personality - material things do nothing for me. If you have them and can afford it, that's great and I am truly happy for you, but it's not what's important. Life is too good and full of wonderful things that have nothing to do with superficiality.

Do Angels have a Sense of Humor?

You Know You're Puerto Rican...

When... (Para mis Amigos Boricuas)

You've ever used your lips to point something out.

You've ever been hit with "chancletas", "la correa", or the cord
of "la plancha".

You get really scared whenever someone mentions "El Cuuuuuco!!!"

You've gone to Titi's house and passed through the "bead
curtain" in the living room.

You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking
up every inch of space on the TV and under the TV.

Your mother has a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in her
living room.

Almost everyone you know is nicknamed "mira".

You've eaten "esporsoda" with butter.

You have a perpetually drunk neighbor.

You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear the
'clack-clack' of her "chancletas".

Someone in you family is name "Maria".

You have actually met several people named "Jesus".

You treat fevers with "alcoholado".

You know "Don Francisco" from "Sabado Gigante".

You need a cup of coffee after every meal.

Your uncle owns more gold than the jewelry shop down the street.

You've sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it,
and there's a person shouting "Subete que caben mas!".

You put a big Puerto Rican flag on your car come June.

You've sung "Japi Beldei Two Yuuuu" more than you care to
remember.

You scrunch up your nose to ask a silent "que ?".

You've ever left grass out for the camels on the night of Jan.
6th., instead of leaving milk and cookies for Santa Claus on
Christmas.

You remember Ricky Martin as the little one from Menudo.

You were raised on Goya products (Si es Goya, tiene que ser
bueno).

You ever wished El Chapulin Colorado would come and save you.

You've dropped food on the floor, picked it up, and eaten it
after saying "lo que no mata engorda".

Your sofa or rug growing up was covered in plastic.

You start clapping when your plane hits the runway.

Your cousins have "original" names, like a blend of their
parent's names (ViMari = Victor + Maria)

Your mother, tia, or hermana's hair is black cherry, "sun in"
red, or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.

You go to a wedding or Quinceanera party, gossip about how bad
the food is, but take a plate to go.

You can dance to merengue, cumbia, or salsa without music.

You think Christina can beat Oprah any day.

You can get to your house blindfolded because the smell of
chuletas is SO strong.

Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner
when you live in a one bedroom apartment.

Telenovenas have the status of holy ceremonies.

You think platanos are a whole separate food group.

You have a picture of "Cristo" in your house.

You think your name begins like this: "Ave Maria Purisima,
__________".

You walk around saying "Chacho", or "Chacha" or "Ay Bendito".

Others tell you to stop screaming when you're really talking.

You know someone who drives a "Cheby".

You call all sneakers "tenis".

All breakfast cereals are called "Con Fley".

All tissue papers are called "Klinex".

All brands of diapers are called "Pampel".

A balanced meal consists of rice and beans and some kind of meat.

You know the difference between "Carolina Rice" and everything
else.

You appreciate the difference between "Agua de Florida" and
"Superior 70".

You've put a penny on your forehead to stop a nosebleed.

Your mother has put a balled up piece of thread on your baby
cousin's forehead to stop her hiccups.

You have at least 30 cousins. At least! (Dan, in our case - at least 100)

You know how to drive an "estandar" or "estic chift" car.

You can tell the difference between "Cafe Crema" and "Bustelo".

And last, but not least:

Your grandmother thinks Vick's Vapor Rub is the miracle cure for
everything!

Your Daily LOL

Yaya's Top Ten Funniest Sayings

The other day I was talking with someone about some of the funny things that my mother says, and later in the day it got me thinking of my mom. I was walking through the supermarket and I actually randomly laughed out loud. People must have thought I was nuts. I got such a kick out of thinking of my mom that I had to post this...

10. He's no Paul Newman.
(This is said to any man who thinks he is good looking).
9. Come here Missy Foo / Mr. Foo
(??? she calls everyone this. I still don't know who Foo is).
8. Carambolas
(This is yelled out when she gets hurt, surprised, etc. It may be a form of caramba?)
7. Whatcha talking bout Willis?
(My mom looked at me one day & said this! I almost peed my pants.)

6. I am still waiting for my marriage license to expire.

5. Don't go into the fridge after a hot shower. Your face will freeze in place.
4. El diablo empuja
(The Devil Pushes. In order words, be careful with temptation)
3. Turn off the lights! I don't sleep with Con Edison.
(Con Edison is the electric company in NYC. Since she's not Con Edison's mistress she still has to pay the electric bill...lol)
2. You think I am married to Rockerfeller? Go get a job.

Drum roll please. The number one funny thing my mom says...

1. I may be short but I can still reach your face

Kids are so funny...

My Catholic friends will appreciate this one...

So, my youngest son and daughter are in the middle of a heated argument, as a mom my ears quickly puckered up. I overhear my daughter say "Well, GIRLS are better than boys b/c Mother Teresa was a girl and she was the best!" and my son quickly responds "Oh yeah! Well let me see her turn the Eucharist into the body of Christ!"

LOL! After quietly laughing to myself, I had to do my motherly duty and explain to them that both boys and girls (men and women) are special. We were created in God's image, He loves us all and blessed each of us with unique qualities.

I tell you though, that was a great comeback on my son's part. I am really starting to believe him when he says he will become a priest one day.

Funny Memory

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and gave me a kiss. He had just finished mowing the lawn and smelled like outside. The smell sparked a memory of my daughter when she was about 3 years old. She had been playing outside with the boys and when she came in I said, "Honey, you smell like wet dog" and she replied very enthusiastically, "Thank you, Mommy!"

Hahahahaha. Kids are so darn cute!

A little humor