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Doing it Alone

So my hubby went back to work on Friday after being home for over a month.  I was terrified to be  I must be getting old.  How is it that I was able to handle a newborn, a one year old, and a five year old all by myself without any help.  I remember my husband  being in the police academy when I had my last baby and had no days off, so I was basically on my own from the time I came home from the hospital.  I remember cooking, cleaning, running around, going to the playground, play dates, food shopping, etc., with three kids under the age of five.  This time around I have had my hubby doing almost everything and my three older kids helping out and I am  Also, my recovery has been longer.  Although everyone tells me that I look great and they can't believe I just had a baby, I feel like poop.  I feel so drained.  I am taking my organic prenatal vitamins, additional iron, and vitamin D, along with pro/pre-biotics and I still feel like I am dragging.  However, I have to admit that I have not been eating as well as I normally do because I don't have the energy to juice or make wholesome meals for myself.  I know that has a lot to do with it, along with a lack of sleep; I've been getting about three hours a night and those three hours are filled with weird dreams and intermittent awakenings.

Anyway, Friday didn't go as bad as I thought it would.   I was able to get up with the kids at 6 AM and send them off to school.  While wearing the baby in my MayaWrap I was able to get some cleaning and laundry done.  Yes, I had to pee with a baby in a sling and nurse while I ate my meals, but all and all it wasn't so bad.

Today, is a bit harder because all of the kids are home and it's been "Mommy," "Mommy," "Mommy."  The baby has not wanted to be put down and my back is absolutely killing me from wearing her.  To top it all off I think I may be getting an ear infection because my ear hurts and continues to pop.  Gosh, this would be my second ear infection this month, which is WEIRD because I haven't had one since I was like five years old. I'm telling you, I am falling apart.  I can really use my mommy!  I need some of her wholesome cooking and TLC.

I tell myself that this is temporary and that's how I manage to get through it, especially at night.  I look into my baby's eyes and it's all worth it.  We are so blessed to have her and we are all in love.  If I can get just a little sleep I think I can conquer the world!

Cloth Diapering

Peri Bottle
We started cloth diapering two days ago, and it's not too bad.  The worst part is getting breastfeeding poop off of cloth.  This is difficult without a hand bidet because of how runny BF poop is.  Right now I am using a peri bottle which works okay, but it's a pain because I have to refill the bottle at least four times to get all the poop off. This is not fun, especially when your sink is far from your toilet!  I know that once my hubby installs the hand bidet it will get better.  He already ordered one from, The Potty Pail, which I will review once I begin usage.

My daughter is small and she fits well in the AMP all in one diapers.  She fits okay in the x-small FuzziBunz, but needs to fatten a little more around the legs for a better fit.  So far I love the AMP diapers.  They are easy to use, fit well and clean well (no stains after washing).  I think I will also love the FuzziBunz once my baby girl grows into them.  She seems to be gaining weight rapidly, so I think she will be sporting her cute Fuzzi's real soon.

After a lot of research we decided to use Rockin Green Detergent. We ordered a whole year's supply and have already washed our diapers in it.  I LOVE the smell and the neat scent names, for example: Smashing Watermelons, Motley Clean, The Plain Green Tea's, Bare Naked Babies, LOL!  Aren't the names cool?  This detergent is obviously environmentally friendly and it works great!  Took the stains out of our diapers and I used it to wash my whites and it did a great job!  The price is right (ha), so I am really happy to have found this product.
Potty Pail

Overall, I am happy to have gone the cloth route and I can't wait to immerse myself full swing, once the bidet gets here.  Well, we Americans call it a hand bidet, but my husband informed me that the proper name in Europe is hand douche. I'm American, so a hand bidet it is :)

107 Whales Dead

First birds falling from the sky and then thousands of fish washing up, now dead whales?  Why isn't mainstream media covering this in the USA?  Isn't anyone curious as to why this is occurring?

Selling a Beautiful Hotsling

This Hotslings pouch is in excellent condition, size 2, in a beautiful, hard-to-find print called Ana.  Only used twice.  

My husband surprised me with a Maya Wrap, so even though I like the Hotsling I prefer the Maya.  In the spirit of not being wasteful I am selling it...

97% cotton, 3% spandex.  Washed only in environmentally friendly detergent.  Comes from a meticulously clean, smoke-free and pet-free home.

Hotslings Size 2 relates to the conventional size XS, women's T-shirt size XS-S, shoulder to hip 23" (see their website for more details).  Includes the instructional insert and DVD.  

This Hotsling has a neutral yet sophisticated pattern that will complement your stylish wardrobe and provide a great, cozy way to carry your baby!  It's a beautiful ivory and antique pink with brown accents.  

Please feel free to email if you have any questions or would like additional photos.


The day I went into labor I felt the first two strong contractions during the five o'clock Mass. Oh boy, it almost knocked me over. I kept thinking throughout Father's homily, "please don't let my water break." By the time we got home I felt a couple more, but ignored them. I also felt the baby engage. I could literally feel her head wedged into place. It was such an odd feeling and I don't recall feeling such a strong engagement with my other three babies.

We all went to bed and by midnight they were a bit more frequent. By two in the morning I thought I should wake my husband up and get the kids ready. They were all suppose to be in the delivery room, but unfortunately the boys were sick, so they had to stay behind. I showered and groomed for I knew it would be a while before I enjoyed another long shower. The shower made the contractions come closer together and a bit stronger. My husband was dressed and the kids were all awake and very excited. We went to the media room and hung out on the sectional. We watched a marathon of Undercover Boss on the Xbox (Netflix). Meanwhile the contractions kept coming. I got my birthing ball and sat on it, rotating my hips to help baby come down. My goodness by three I had to hold onto my husband's neck and rock with him during the contractions. At this point I knew that I should go to the hospital because although I was doing the Hiblicens treatment at home, I still wanted to get some antibiotics in my system to prevent the baby from getting Strep B.

We tucked the boys back into bed and with our daughter in tow off we went to the hospital. The ride to the hospital was torturous at best. Every bump and turn made my insides hurt. We got to the ER and the security guard help get me into a wheelchair while my husband dealt with the bags and parking the car. My daughter followed me, she was very attentive and gentle. What a great little girl. We all went up to L&D and they put me in a triage room and sort of forgot about oh so it felt. I knew this was the real deal, so I skipped their gown and dressed in the one that I delivered my other three kids in. The contractions were becoming almost unbearable. My poor husband's neck must have been sore because I literally was hanging off of it and rocking during each contraction. The nurse finally came and checked me in. She hooked me up to the stupid fetal heart monitor and TOCO monitor. I couldn't stand being on my back. It made everything hurt more. I allowed that thing to track me for about 10 minutes and then a really strong contraction came and I literally ripped everything off of me, jump off the bed, and grabbed my husband. I buried my face in his chest and we rocked back and forth. After that contraction I told him, "please tell the nurse to come check me b/c I need antibiotics before it's too late." He got the nurse and when she checked me I was four centimeters and very thinned out. She then announced that I was ready to go to the birthing room. I asked her to call my midwife and off we went.

In the delivery room I was so much more comfortable. The lights were dimmed and it was roomier than the triage room. We settled in and they even made a bed for my daughter in case she got sleepy. The nurse hooked me up to a walking IV and the antibiotics were administered (well one round). My midwife called that she was about 10 minutes away and I felt a great sense of relief because the doctor that was on call is an idiot with no bedside manner. Out of everyone it was my luck that she was on duty that night, so when my midwife showed up I nearly cried. By the time she got to me I was in full blown labor. I am usually a silent laborer. I don't want you to talk to me and I don't talk nor do I make sounds. I go inside myself to Lala Land. However, this labor was so VERY different. I made sounds (moans) that I didn't know could come out of me. I was humming and moaning my daughter thought this was hilarious and actually laughed at one point. If I weren't in so much pain I think I would have laughed too. I have a very high pain tolerance and hate that stupid question "from a scale of one to ten where's your pain?" I think it's stupid because unless I am dying I usually say something under five. However, my low number may be someone else's ten. Anyway, had they asked me to scale my pain I would have said ten without a doubt because I felt like I was dying. My husband was the best! He knew exactly how to support me and what to do. I couldn't have done it without him. He was my rock and I am crying as I write this because it's true. My midwife was awesome too. She was very maternal and allowed me to listen to my body. I labored standing, squatting, and on all fours with my birthing ball. My husband was always by me or holding me. My daughter whispered soothing words and rubbed my back.

There came a point when I was desperate. I felt like I couldn't do it, so I needed to know my progress. I asked my midwife to please check me. Although I have never had meds during labor, had she told me that I was only five I think I would have succumbed to relief. However, when she checked me she said I was seven and so I knew that I could hang in for the hardest three. Hard is not even the correct word - unbearable is closer to what I felt. It was the oddest thing, I was very conscious of all of my organs. It was like I could literally feel them shifting and moving as the baby descended. Also, because she was so little she still have plenty of wiggle room and was not still like most babies. She was very active during labor which increased my pain (by A LOT). Those last three centimeters were horrendous. I asked my husband to get my rosary and I prayed the rosary to get me through it. I cried and prayed. I prayed and called out in a horsed whisper, "Ayi Dios Mio, Ayudame," (My God please help me). When I am speaking during labor, it's bad, when I am speaking Spanish during labor, it's REALLY bad.

When I thought I couldn't bear anymore I asked my midwife to check me again and when she did I was TEN centimeters, but with a small lip which she then had me get on all fours on the bed to see if that would helped. After that she messed with me a little, while I begged her to please stop and then she announced that I could start to push when I felt the urge. Honestly, I didn't feel any urge this time. All I felt was baby's head bearing down, but I was afraid it was a bowel movement and I begged my midwife "Please don't let me poop on myself. That's never happened to me and I don't want it to," she said, "Honey, it's the baby's head not poop, don't hold back." With that said, I went within myself. I was completely still and silent. I lied down and did small pushes (as recommended by Dr. Sears) while doing some deep quiet breathing. I did this for a while and they thought I had fallen asleep! Hahaha. My husband leaned in and said, "Baby you can't sleep you have to push," I opened my eyes and said "I have been pushing." My midwife checked and said "Yes, you have been. Baby is right there. Next contraction don't hold back." She then put some wet gauze around my perineum and started to squirt me with, I have no idea with what, I never asked. Anyway, it felt good. I then pushed four hard pushes while everyone yelled "the baby is right there, she has lots of hair, good job," and then everyone got really quiet and told me to stop pushing. I later found out that cord was wrapped at least three times around baby's neck.

Once cord was unwound I delivered a beautiful baby girl. She came out with a loud cough and a good scream. I tried nursing immediately, but she was very mucous-y and so they had to aspirate her really good before she nursed. We waited until the cord stopped pulsating and my husband offered to let my daughter cut the cord, but she declined once she heard that it may be difficult to cut through, so my husband did it. We were all instantly in love. My daughter cried and kissed her little sister and told her, "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," which made my husband and I cry. It was a very beautiful birth. I wish my boys could have been there. That would have made it perfect.

PS these days I have no time to edit and catch typos, so please excuse anything that makes little or no sense. I am really sleep deprived :)

Fake Blueberries in Foods

She's Here

Our beautiful baby is here.  I will not give her online, but will say she was born at 9:34 AM.  She weighted a petite 6 lbs and 5.5 oz and 18 inches long.  She is beautiful and healthy.  Although she is the smallest of all our children her birth was the most painful.  I had a beautifully painful labor with no complications and the baby successfully nursed immediately after birth.  I will write more later...


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