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Doing it Alone

So my hubby went back to work on Friday after being home for over a month.  I was terrified to be  I must be getting old.  How is it that I was able to handle a newborn, a one year old, and a five year old all by myself without any help.  I remember my husband  being in the police academy when I had my last baby and had no days off, so I was basically on my own from the time I came home from the hospital.  I remember cooking, cleaning, running around, going to the playground, play dates, food shopping, etc., with three kids under the age of five.  This time around I have had my hubby doing almost everything and my three older kids helping out and I am  Also, my recovery has been longer.  Although everyone tells me that I look great and they can't believe I just had a baby, I feel like poop.  I feel so drained.  I am taking my organic prenatal vitamins, additional iron, and vitamin D, along with pro/pre-biotics and I still feel like I am dragging.  However, I have to admit that I have not been eating as well as I normally do because I don't have the energy to juice or make wholesome meals for myself.  I know that has a lot to do with it, along with a lack of sleep; I've been getting about three hours a night and those three hours are filled with weird dreams and intermittent awakenings.

Anyway, Friday didn't go as bad as I thought it would.   I was able to get up with the kids at 6 AM and send them off to school.  While wearing the baby in my MayaWrap I was able to get some cleaning and laundry done.  Yes, I had to pee with a baby in a sling and nurse while I ate my meals, but all and all it wasn't so bad.

Today, is a bit harder because all of the kids are home and it's been "Mommy," "Mommy," "Mommy."  The baby has not wanted to be put down and my back is absolutely killing me from wearing her.  To top it all off I think I may be getting an ear infection because my ear hurts and continues to pop.  Gosh, this would be my second ear infection this month, which is WEIRD because I haven't had one since I was like five years old. I'm telling you, I am falling apart.  I can really use my mommy!  I need some of her wholesome cooking and TLC.

I tell myself that this is temporary and that's how I manage to get through it, especially at night.  I look into my baby's eyes and it's all worth it.  We are so blessed to have her and we are all in love.  If I can get just a little sleep I think I can conquer the world!


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