Random Entries: Religion

Have you ever felt God talking to you, calling you to do something, yet you choose to ignore Him?

For the past year I have felt that God has been calling me to be a better mom. Like my good friend Father Deusterhaus says "God calls you to be a great mom, not a good one." Well, lately I've been a good mom period. I am being pulled in too many directions. School and work are taking up a lot of my time. Yes, I am blessed to have a job where I can work mostly from home, but it still takes me away from my family. I am physically there, but not really present. And school, I've dreamed of being a nurse for a very long time and I am only three classes away from being in nursing school, so why would God choose to call me to do something else when I am sooooo close?

Late at night, when I am alone with my thoughts, I feel this yearning in my heart for a simpler life. I think back at times when my children were younger and they make me smile. I miss playdates, naps, and our daytime routine. I miss leisure. Right now my life is structured, but in a way that leaves very little time for leisure. I guess I miss JUST being a stay-at-home mom. However, I am scared to give up the dream. I've worked so hard. Have learned things in school that I thought I was incapable of learning. When the sun is up and life kicks in, God's voice dims and I give into society. I give into the notion that being a mom is just not enough. In school I feel smart. I feel vigorous and want more. However, I feel that what God is calling me to do, is dramatic. It's not just about me ending my schooling and quitting me job. If you can believe, its bigger than that. I feel that He is calling me to something extraordinary - what that is, I am yet to find out.

Sometimes I question, "is God really talking to me?" or is it mommy guilt that is making me feel like quitting my dream. I honestly don't know. I am being very candid here because I want input. I am at a crossroads and don't know what to do.

Pray for me that I may listen with my heart.

Mary Magdalene was from Magdala near the Sea of Galilee. Some people identify her as a well-known sinner when she first saw Our Lord. It seems that she was very beautiful and very proud. But after she met Jesus, she felt great sorrow for her evil life. When Jesus went to supper at the home of a rich man named Simon, Mary came to weep at his feet. Then, with her long, beautiful hair, she wiped his feet dry and anointed them with expensive perfume. Some people were surprised that Jesus let such a sinner touch him. Our Lord knew why. He could see into Mary's heart. He said, "Many sins are forgiven her, because she has loved much." Then to Mary he said kindly, "Your faith has saved you. Go in peace."

From then on, with the other holy women, Mary humbly served Jesus and his apostles. When Our Lord was crucified, she was there at the foot of his cross. She stayed with the Blessed Mother and St. John, unafraid for herself. All she could think about was that her Lord was suffering. No wonder Jesus said of her: "She has loved much." After Jesus' body had been placed in the tomb, Mary went to anoint it with spices early Easter Sunday morning. She was shocked when she saw that the tomb was empty. Not finding the sacred body, she began to weep. Suddenly she saw someone she thought was the gardener. She asked him if he knew where the body of her beloved Master had been taken. Then the man spoke in a voice she knew so well: "Mary!" It was Jesus, standing right there in front of her. He was risen from the dead. And he had chosen to reveal himself first to her. The Gospels show Mary as being sent by the Lord himself to announce the Good News of the resurrection to Peter and the apostles. In the early centuries of the Church, Mary Magdalene's feast was celebrated with the Mass of an apostle.

Reflection: St. Mary Magdalene was a sinner, yet Jesus forgave her. He could see that she loved much.

Excerpt from: HolySpiritInteractive.net