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Not quite, but close enough... |
I am going out of my mind having to be confined to just resting. Intellectually I know that this is the best thing for my baby and that every single day is a precious gift from God. However, emotionally I am ruined. I am guilt ridden and anxious. I feel that I am being a horrible housekeeper, mom, wife, friend, etc. The days go by and I feel that life is passing me by. I went from an active lifestyle: housewife, mom, nursing student, breastfeeding counselor, to basically sitting in my room reading and watching television. Sometimes I cheat and do some cleaning and cooking, but then I feel guilty for that, especially if I feel my body betraying me afterwards. When I don't cheat I get many things done, in my head. In my crazy mind I have cleaned the entire house, including the garage and the basement. I have organized all of my paperwork, including recipes, and to-do lists, and I have pre-made and frozen many wonderful meals. Ahhhh, I am trying to be patient. I am trying to see the better side of it. Yes, I know that I am blessed. Yes, I know God will get me through this and that He never gives us more than we can handle. Logically I know all of these things that well-wishing loved ones tell me, but it doesn't matter because emotionally it takes a toll and it sucks!
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