Turn the Other Cheek?

It's been a little tricky and difficult to find the right thing to tell my children when it comes to being bullied. In the one hand, I want them to be a wonderful Christian example and take what is dished out and stand up for themselves with prayer and kindness.  However, I come from the Bronx.  I know that this is not realistic and doesn't always work.  Where I come from, you put a stop to negative behavior ASAP.  If you show fear they will continue to pick on you.  If you have to knock someone out, you do that to protect yourself and to put a stop to something that may otherwise continue for many years.  If a bully sees fear in you, they will always pick on you - it's not until you stand up for yourself and put a little fear into them that they stop.

I, unfortunately, learned this first hand.  I was bullied beyond belief in the sixth grade.  It was the first time that this had ever happened to me and I didn't know how to deal with it.  At first I tried ignoring it and hoping it will go away, it didn't.  Then I tried telling my teacher, it made it worst. I tried my mother's sweet-nice-Jesuslovesyou-approach and I got laughed at and then picked on even more.  I was pushed, shoved, kicked, mushed, and worst, told the most degrading things on a daily basis.  It was relentless and more kids joined in as time went on.  It was horrible.  I faked illness in order to miss school and went into a deep depression.  My sister who is older than me, overheard me talking to a friend about what was going on in school and she told me, "Don't listen to mom.  You need to stop this.  You better go to school tomorrow and kick someone's (donkey).  If you don't, I will beat you down."  Ummm,  I was scared of my sister when she was serious and so the next time they picked on me I turned around and punched one of them.  I remember being so scared.  I fought the fattest black girl of the group at Poe Park after school on a Spring day with a bunch of kids watching and screaming "fight, fight, fight."  I was a skinny girl, so she could have demolished me.  I guess I was so scared of losing that I gave it my all and won.  Let's just say that there were hair extensions everywhere and I was never EVER picked on after that.  As a matter a fact, we became friends after that fight.  After that day I NEVER allowed anyone to pick on me.  The minute I saw it happening I put the person in their place.  Sometimes it was with stern words, a killer look, and at times I had to fight.  Growing up in the Bronx was awesome, and it wasn't as bad as people think, but I did run into some very tough people and very tough situations and I was happy that I had street smarts when I did.

With my own children I have struggled with what to say.  Finally, I have been telling them to ALWAYS use kind words first, if that doesn't work, use stern words with a stern tone, for example, "Please, don't put your hands on me."  If that doesn't work tell a grown up.  If it continues, you do what you have to do to defend yourself.  If you have to get tough and they hit you, you hit them back.  You will never get in trouble with me or your Papa if you tried all the nice / right things and it didn't work.  So, far this is working out.  I don't know if this is the right thing for everyone, but in my world it is.  I have very sweet children who can be easily picked on and I don't want them to ever be the victim of any punk.

I know many of my friends and family will disagree with me, and I am sorry.  My children are great kids who would never pick on anyone or make anyone feel poorly.  They have been taught to treat everyone with kindness, and to stick up for those who cannot stick up for themselves.  They will always use kindness first, but if that doesn't work..."Let's get ready to RUMMMMMMBLE"

Kindness

Sometimes kindness comes when you least expect it, and sometimes from a surprising source.

Teenagers are known for being self-indulgent and sometimes clueless :)  Yes, I have seen these traits in my oldest son once he hit "those years." At times I question if I am parenting the right way.  However, despite the clueless-ness I know that a loving, bright, and selfless young man will one day blossom.  Last night I got a huge glimmer of what he is becoming and it makes me proud.  My son overheard me talking to a friend about how badly I want to read this new Christian book called, "Heaven is for Real," written by a pastor about the accounts told by his four year old little boy about meeting Jesus and going to heaven during a near death experience.  I told my friend that I had the money to buy the book via my Kindle, but then had to use the money on my daughter's lunch account.  I was bummed out, but that's life as a mother :)  Well, later on that night, right after I had tucked everyone in bed and said "good night," there was a knock on my door.  It was my son, holding out a ten dollar bill, as he said "Mom, here you go."  "Honey, what's that for?" I said with a confused smile.  "I want you to get that book you want to read.  You deserve it."  My heart swelled and I fought back tears.

I didn't take the money, but I told him how grateful I was.  His act of kindness was exactly what I needed after a long day and I'd take that over a book any day.

Doing it Alone

So my hubby went back to work on Friday after being home for over a month.  I was terrified to be alone...lol.  I must be getting old.  How is it that I was able to handle a newborn, a one year old, and a five year old all by myself without any help.  I remember my husband  being in the police academy when I had my last baby and had no days off, so I was basically on my own from the time I came home from the hospital.  I remember cooking, cleaning, running around, going to the playground, play dates, food shopping, etc., with three kids under the age of five.  This time around I have had my hubby doing almost everything and my three older kids helping out and I am dying...lol.  Also, my recovery has been longer.  Although everyone tells me that I look great and they can't believe I just had a baby, I feel like poop.  I feel so drained.  I am taking my organic prenatal vitamins, additional iron, and vitamin D, along with pro/pre-biotics and I still feel like I am dragging.  However, I have to admit that I have not been eating as well as I normally do because I don't have the energy to juice or make wholesome meals for myself.  I know that has a lot to do with it, along with a lack of sleep; I've been getting about three hours a night and those three hours are filled with weird dreams and intermittent awakenings.

Anyway, Friday didn't go as bad as I thought it would.   I was able to get up with the kids at 6 AM and send them off to school.  While wearing the baby in my MayaWrap I was able to get some cleaning and laundry done.  Yes, I had to pee with a baby in a sling and nurse while I ate my meals, but all and all it wasn't so bad.

Today, is a bit harder because all of the kids are home and it's been "Mommy," "Mommy," "Mommy."  The baby has not wanted to be put down and my back is absolutely killing me from wearing her.  To top it all off I think I may be getting an ear infection because my ear hurts and continues to pop.  Gosh, this would be my second ear infection this month, which is WEIRD because I haven't had one since I was like five years old. I'm telling you, I am falling apart.  I can really use my mommy!  I need some of her wholesome cooking and TLC.

I tell myself that this is temporary and that's how I manage to get through it, especially at night.  I look into my baby's eyes and it's all worth it.  We are so blessed to have her and we are all in love.  If I can get just a little sleep I think I can conquer the world!

A Little Organization

In preparing for the baby I am trying to think of small ways of simplifying our lives - my life.  One small step in doing this was donating most of our children's good towels and throwing out the bad ones.  We kept some for guests, but only a few.  The reason why I had to do this was for my own sanity.  I was washing loads of towels weekly.  My kids would grab towels and forget who had which towel and then grab another.  Some would end up on the floor and others in the hamper.  It became this burdensome mess.  So, I thought if I chose a towel color for each kid then they would know which towel was their own and then couldn't blame their sibling for the mess on the floor, ha. I told my husband of my idea and he was on board.  I love this man :)  We went to Walmart and couldn't find the right quality or the right color, so we went to Target and found some towels that worked for what we wanted.  Our daughter wanted purple, but the pink ones were on sale, so guess what she got...lol.  We got our teen a nice grey and our other son, blue.  We purchased three of each and let me tell you, it's been about three weeks and this system is working!  The children's linen closet looks neater, aside from the towels facing the wrong way (see pic).  They are big so I can't fold them facing the way I'd like and get all three pairs in one shelf, so I had to compromise.  Hey, don't judge, so what, I'm a bit anal about folding :P  Aside from the folding debacle, the system is working.  Everyone hangs their towel on their own hook, there are no overflowing hampers and no messes on the ground.  I am now only washing a small load of towels every week and a half vs. three loads weekly.  It's great and has simplified one small part of my life....

Autumn Morning

Picture from Tricia Jaeger @ Allrecipes.com

Woke up to a chilly morning and I am loving it.  The kids are excited to wear their Fall clothes to school and I'm excited to do some much needed gardening.  The kids are also excited to have me make some hot cocoa.  Yummmm!

About two years ago I stopped buying the hot chocolate packets that we use to love so much because of all the preservatives that they contain, since then I have been on the hunt for a good hot cocoa recipe.  I've been using the one on the side of the Hershey's Cocoa box, but wanted something tastier. In my quest, I found a really good recipe at Allrecipes.com (my favorite website BTW).

When made as is, it's really yummy, but a bit unhealthy, so I only make it this way on Sundays & Holidays. During the week I cut back on the sugar and on the half and half .  Here is the recipe courtesy of Jeanie Bean at Allrecipes.com

Enjoy!


Creamy Hot Cocoa

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 pinch salt
• 1/3 cup boiling water
• 3 1/2 cups milk
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup half-and-half cream

Directions

1. Combine the cocoa, sugar and pinch of salt in a saucepan. Blend in the boiling water. Bring this mixture to an easy boil while you stir. Simmer and stir for about 2 minutes. Watch that it doesn't scorch. Stir in 3 1/2 cups of milk and heat until very hot, but do not boil! Remove from heat and add vanilla. Divide between 4 mugs. Add the cream to the mugs of cocoa to cool it to drinking temperature.

Mouse

Mouse

Creeping
Crawling
Mother screaming
Sister running
Dad Killing
It's gone!

-By Julian Torres (Nine Years Old)

Kids Say the Darndest things

So, I was telling my family about my upcoming cat dissection, and my children were both fascinated and grossed out. I had to explain the necessity for practicing medical procedures on test subjects, which sometimes include animals. I reminded them of a movie we had seen about the life of Dr. Vivien Thomas - how he discovered a cure for cyanotic "blue" babies, by experimenting on dogs. They understood, but still found it incredible that I will be "operating" on a cat.

My daughter especially thought it was gross and "I can't believe you are going to do that, MOM." I told her that what I was doing was nothing compared to what doctors do. Doctors have to perform such things on dead people who donate their bodies to science. I went on to tell her that her First Grade Teacher's daughter-in-law is in medical school and she had to dissect a human last semester. My children were fascinate and wanted to hear how it works: how do you donate your body to science, are your eyes open, do the medical students get to see you naked, where is your body kept? I patiently answered all of their questions and finally got to the last one, "where are the bodies are kept?"

"Well, they are kept in a freezer."
"In a FREEZER," exclaims my daughter
"Yes, honey, so they don't get spoiled,"

"Well, I am a human. I've NEVER been in a freezer and I HAVE NEVER gone spoiled!"

Hahahahaha. Yup, that's my daughter!

Kids are so funny...

My Catholic friends will appreciate this one...

So, my youngest son and daughter are in the middle of a heated argument, as a mom my ears quickly puckered up. I overhear my daughter say "Well, GIRLS are better than boys b/c Mother Teresa was a girl and she was the best!" and my son quickly responds "Oh yeah! Well let me see her turn the Eucharist into the body of Christ!"

LOL! After quietly laughing to myself, I had to do my motherly duty and explain to them that both boys and girls (men and women) are special. We were created in God's image, He loves us all and blessed each of us with unique qualities.

I tell you though, that was a great comeback on my son's part. I am really starting to believe him when he says he will become a priest one day.

Funny Memory

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and gave me a kiss. He had just finished mowing the lawn and smelled like outside. The smell sparked a memory of my daughter when she was about 3 years old. She had been playing outside with the boys and when she came in I said, "Honey, you smell like wet dog" and she replied very enthusiastically, "Thank you, Mommy!"

Hahahahaha. Kids are so darn cute!

LOL

Today my husband asked our daughter her favorite animal and she responded "Horses and pigs!"

My husband knew that she like horses, but was surprised by the pigs, so he asked, "Really? Why pigs?" and she answered "Because they are delicious!"

Hahahahaha