Pain

trapped
swallowed
never ending abyss
can't get out
prisoner
can't think, can't not think
no longer a person
slave
alone, yet never alone
too much
not enough
pained 
numbed
hopeful, have to be, it's all that keeps me clinging...

Let's Escape

 Innocence

A moment suspended in time

“Let’s escape,” one of says

Who? I cannot remember for it is a blur

Alone in the park

No one can touch us

We are invincible

Maybe even invisible, except to each other

Dark, except for street lights

Cold, frosty, Bronx night

We find an icy patch in Poe Park

Slipping

Sliding

Giggling

Laughing

No worries

No trouble

Nothing can stop us, for we are together

Best friends afraid of nothing, afraid of no one

Danger, non existent

Angry parents, who cares?

Fun

Fun

Fun

That’s all that matters...

-Yvette Negron-Torres

*Something to cheer you up!  It'll all be okay.  Don't you wish we could just escape. I miss you...

Open

Today is a new beginning.

I shed my skin that has served as armor.

As I walk pieces of the past fall all around me.

I lie naked and vulnerable for a chance at love.

The crutches are gone, I am no longer debilitated.

I will no longer rely on distorted glasses that fog my view.

I will believe who you are and embrace your love.

-Yvette Negron-Torres

Before I can love another

Born to uncertainty
Trying to make sense out of it, but falling short
Feeling insecure
Wanting love
Wanting acceptance
Confusion, a part of life
Head feeling heavy, about to explode
Swirling
Swirling
Many questions
No answers
Or maybe too many answers
Need to sort through life's entanglements
Need to deal with the past in order to fix the future
Must face demons; mine and others
Put things to rest
Go down that road and never face back
Need silence in my head
Contentment in my soul
My heart is open
My heart is vulnerable
I love too much
Or maybe I love too wrong
Must choose wisely
Weed out the bad...

...must love myself before I can love another

*To my wonderful friend who wears her heart on her sleeve. I pray that you put some demons to rest and find your life partner; someone who will love and appreciate the goodness in your soul.

The Truth

She follows me throughout the day
Consumes my thoughts
Holds me captive in what ifs
I secretly imagine that I am her
She is who I would never be
She is who I could never be
I must occupy my time
Must not think
Must not go there
She holds the mirror to my face
I strive, but fall short
I pretend
I laugh, but inside I cry
I pretend
I love, but not fully
I pretend
I fool many, but not myself
I need distractions
Cannot fool myself
Would love to fool myself
So I pretend
I am high and mighty
I pretend
I am beautiful, pretty, talented
I am exhausted, but must continue pretending

I avoid her because she cannot be fooled...

...because with her I am stripped naked, she sees the truth, and I can no longer pretend

* This poem is written for someone who is very troubled and lost

Playdate

Hands wrapped around mugs

Words of hope spoken

Dreams shared

Opened windows

Curtains softly sway

Spring breeze creeps in

Eyes glance out the window

Kids playing

Giggles slip in

Moms converse

Making plans for the future

Who are we?

Just moms?

Does life have more?

Best friends unaware...

...they have just shared a wonderful moment in time.

-Yvette Negron-Torres

(To Marisa: Only you can fully grasp this poem. Funny that what we were looking for was right there in our faces all along. Love ya)

Papa

What makes you our hero?
Putting your life on the line for our country?
The gun and badge you once carried?
The fires you now put out?
No.
That’s what makes you everybody’s hero.


Our hero,
Kisses our booboos,
Tucks us in at night,
Acts like a monster, a dinosaur, and even a wormy.
Our hero,
Plays hide-and-seek, baseball, football, and sometimes even soccer.
Gives us baths,
Reads us books,
Makes funny voices,
And rocks at Guitar Hero.
Our hero,
Mows the grass,
Grills our burgers,
And fixes things.
Our hero,
Takes us to church,
Prays with us at night,
Says rosaries,
And will lead us to Heaven.

Our hero, is not just brave,
Our hero is so much more.

-Yvette Negron-Torres

The Right Side of the Bed

How different it is when the right side of the bed is made

I lie on the left and look at neat pillows and a smooth comforter.


No lovely lumps to complain of. Nothing obscures the view of the television.

When the right side of the bed is made the television is no longer an entertainment, it is now a companion, tries to fill the void.

The room is quiet. No laughter, no teasing, no whispers in the dark.

My leg searches for its nook, but there is none to be found.

My arms are just as lost with nothing to hug. They stretch and feel cold, crisp sheets. They yearn.

The television fails its mission, so off it goes.

Darkness,
Silence,
Just the hum of the fan.
No murmurs,
No giggling,
No hugging,
No kissing.
I sniff remnants of what was once the smell of soap, and natural musk.
Just tossing,
Just turning,
Sighing and longing.

When the right side of the bed is made, my heart is gone.

And the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that tomorrow night…

…the right side of the bed will no longer be done.

-Yvette Negron-Torres

(Papi, my nights are restless without you. I love you. Muah.)

Ivonnelie

Boricua linda,
Puerto Rican beauty.
Brown eyed girl, con pelo largo, y labios bonitos.


Your beauty,
A gift, a burden, and useful many times.
Your soul,
An array of colors,
Darkness that covers the light.
Like the sun hidden beneath overcast clouds.
Goodness weighed down by calamity
Tormented child, innocence taken from little clenched hands and eyes so sweet
Mamá tan joven, mother so young
Offspring of an anguished soul,
Ragdoll to disparaging people, unworthy of your love
Desperate for love, yet pushing it away
Always suspicious, always on the defense
Running, running, always running
Running to those who hurt you, who call themselves “familia,” yet stab you in the back
Tu familia verdadera esta aquí, siempre esperando
Waiting, waiting, always waiting
Never giving up
Praying for a break in the clouds
Knowing the illumination of your soul
Believing in the radiance that you hide
Stop hiding and come on HOME

-Yvette Negron-Torres

(Mi Querida Amiga y Titi de mis hijos, estoy aqui y nunca dejare de esperar.)